We can´t help but be in relationship. Even not be in relationship is a form of relationship, although the absence of the experience of connectedness. Could we live relationships in the present, without constantly updating our past and the past of others and bringing all that stuff into the relationship, we would experience a fundamental relief. But how can that happen?
Another point is that most peoples egos are needy and relate to get something. The ego makes us feel incomplete and we want to remedy that. The ego is looking for satisfaction, not for real partnership. Therefore an ego relationship, i.e.one that is chosen by two egos, soon turns into a “war-play”, in which the partners are fighting about whose needs are met first. Or seperation is chosen soon and on they go searching…
Relationships are not primarily there to meet our needs, but to show us where we need healing, in order to find or true self which lacks nothing. After the initial romantic stage of a relationship sooner or later all your “stuff” will show up: your fears, shadows, expectations (= unmet needs from childhood), your insecurities and your compensation thereof, need of control, perfectionism, self-sacrifice and fear of loss or whatever it might be. Learning how to deal with these issues in a mature way turns every relationship or partnership to a field of growth.
Our healing allows us to deepen our awareness of the holy presence of our partner and the people around us, and to acknowledge their inner light. The fact is, we have only one relationship status: we are as close to ourselves as we are to others and ultimately to God. “Love your neighbor as yourself,” starts with us. Every healing starts within ourselves, and thank God that we needn´t change anybody else to be happy!
The more our ego dissolves the more loving and productive we become. We experience ourselves differently and have a new outlook on the world. When we finally – through healing and forgiveness – realize how incredibly wonderful and lovable we are the miracle happens all by itself: we share our wholeness and the associated joy with others. Each encounter is a holy encounter and our life itself becomes a miracle!